stay hungry

you know how some people are just general debbies (as in debbie downers)? don’t tolerate those people. you’ll try to give them advice or cheer them up but they go right back to being t0tal debbies. my inner angry black woman would tell these people:

gherl, if you think imma cut cake wit u at ur lil pity party, u r sorely miztaken. passin out low self-esteem party favors n what not. dis shit don’t even got a dj.

on a side note, i may or may not be thinking of starting a blog entirely written in the voice of an angry black woman. thoughtz?

you know why doug never got patty? cus he wore the same shit every day. you need to switch it up. get rid of those fucking cargo shorts. skeeter was up to his neck in pussy(let’s be real, his name was skeeter). you know why? color coordination.

doug’s color palette: green and brown. basically, a tree. girls, would you want to have sex with a tree? exactly.

skeeter’s color palette: red, yellow, and (sort of by default) blue. he looks like a bag of cooler ranch doritos. i don’t know about you, but those are the best kind.

i got a vyou account

hateonit. but when no one’s looking, you’ll try it. and it’s going to be one of those things you’ll try hard to conceal liking so much. like the time you saw 27 dresses on the plane by ‘accident’ and it totally, totally spoke to you.

i’m that dude sitting next to you, i saw your eyes light up when you looked at the scheduled movies. you aren’t fooling me, bro.

you’re going to try and tell me 300 is your favorite movie. but something about the way you say it just doesn’t sell me on it. somewhere in there, you wanted to say katherine heigl fucked your shit up. but you didn’t. i know man, i know.